It’s progress, they say, that life has become an endless bug report.
Everything works on the ”new platform”, nothing works, and the only constant is that you are sent a poll asking ”On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely would you be to recommend this tour of hell to a friend?”
Spoiler: would not recommend.
This text is pure satire. If you identify yourself as a progressive supremacist, that’s entirely your problem.
”Progress” drowned in email
You order one (1) book online. You will receive:
- ”Thank you for your order.”
- ”Order processed.”
- ”The parcel has been transferred to the carrier.”
- ”Your parcel has been received by the carrier.”
- ”At some point in the future, the shipping company plans to think about maybe delivering your parcel.”
- ”The package is on its way.”
- ”The package has been delivered.”
- ”The seller confirms that the carrier claims to have delivered the package.”
- ”Evaluate your experience.”
- ”Also evaluate the transport company.”
- ”Reminder: you have not yet assessed the suffering you are experiencing.”
And finally, you discover that you ordered an old novel and got a pair of neon orange size 36 heels instead – someone else got your book, you got their plastic. This is not a bug, this is ”gamification of the customer experience”. Vernon Coleman uses the same example to remind us that ”progress” is often just a planned shambles that keeps us busy – not happy.(The Expose – Home)
Progress 2025:
- less time for reading,
- more time to browse order confirmations.
But hey – at least you get a new email after each mistake asking if the disappointment was pleasant enough.
Recycling rituals – the prayer ribbon of the Climate Church
Remember the days when a bin was just a bin?
Now there is at home:
- bio
- plastic
- metal
- glass
- Cardboard
- cardboard
- ”mixed waste” (which will soon be a criminal offence)
And the guidelines change more often than the EU’s policy on the ”last, really last” emissions target.
The whole ritual is presented as a grand ecological rescue plan, even though a significant amount of the ’carefully sorted’ rubbish ends up being effectively incinerated or dumped on another continent – but you are told that it is your yoghurt pot that will save the planet. Coleman points out that in recycling systems, the environmental burden of transport and bureaucracy itself often eats into the purported benefits.(The Expose – Home)
The most important thing is not what happens to the waste.
What matters is that you are taught to hunker down obediently in the corner of your own kitchen like an EU-certified garbage monk and feel guilty if a piece of cardboard slips into the wrong holy receptacle.
This is called ”growing up as a citizen”.
I call it elementary obedience training.
UBI: pocket money for digital slaves
The next big idea: universal basic income.
Beautiful on paper, in reality a very convenient way to build:
- an economically dependent section of the population
- which is always one policy decision below the hunger line
- and which can be switched off with digital money if the wrong opinion slips through the cracks.
Coleman points out that similar ”safety net” models have been tried for decades – always with the same result: increasing power of the state and the financial sector, tying the ordinary person more tightly to numbers beyond his or her control.(LLMS Central)
This is called ”social policy”.
In practice, it is an extremely simple agreement:
”You’ll get our digital crumbs if you click ’I accept the terms and conditions’ above your future.”
And when it’s all linked to digital identity, health data and programmable money, there’s no need for barbed wire. All you need is for your card not to work if you decide to be ”wrong about progress”.
Woke galleries and cultural composting
Take one historic art museum.
Strip it of most of its history, fill the walls with grant-funded modern performative guilt, paste an annotation next to every old painting:
”This picture is wrong because… (add 500 words on colonialism, patriarchy and carbon footprint).”
Coleman describes the transformation of Tate Britain: the Renaissance and the early masters have been squeezed into one hall, while most of the space has been devoted to modern ”identity art” – and the curators’ primary aim seems to be to fill the gender quota, not artistic quality. (The Expose – Home)
A classic idea: art asks questions.
Today’s model: art explains to you a ready-made political answer.
And that’s not all – the same model is infiltrating every institution: the army, sport, NGOs. Everywhere the same language, the same liturgy, the same chosen enemy. Culture is being flattened into a global decorative model, in which nothing local, annoying or dangerously original can fit.
Children who were sold a box instead of a future
A child from half a century ago:
- jumping crane
- street hype
- football in the backyard, jackets as goalposts
- a postcard that travelled within the city on the same day
2025 children:
- box
- box
- box
- and a mental health diagnosis before the age of driving
Even before the ”new normal” after the pseudo-pandemic of 2020, mental health problems among children and young people were already on the rise; since then they have been driven to epidemic levels. Coleman points out that millions of young people are being pumped full of sedatives and antidepressants despite weak evidence of the drugs’ benefits – while queues for real help are years long.(The Expose – Home)
But hey, at least there’s an iPad in the category. The paper and chalk were ”old-fashioned”.
Now the kid gets to learn that everything is:
- outsourced
- measured at
- and stored forever in some cloud, the terms of which no one read.
Thinking was replaced by ”learning platforms”, questioning was replaced by multiple choice, doubt was replaced by conditions of use. This is called ”redefining learning”.
I mean, sure – if the aim is to raise a generation that never gets up from the screen to protest about anything.
Immigration, identity war and divide-and-rule 2.0
In the old world, patriotism was a virtue and nationalism a vice.
In the new order, both are illegal thinking, because there should be no more countries – only markets, blockchains and regulatory zones.
Managed immigration is one thing.
Controlled chaos is another.
When border policy becomes unmanageable, the result is:
- coexistence
- growth of ghettos
- mutual resentment
- constant, controlled chatter, which can be used as a political weapon depending on the situation
Coleman warns that such fuel inevitably leads to internal conflict – and that the same recipe is repeated almost identically in different countries. (The Expose – Home)
It is hard not to notice that the biggest winners in all this are not the ordinary arrivals and the ordinary native populations, but the same global players who keep selling new security packages, surveillance solutions and ”social cohesion programmes” around each new crisis.
Gender language, micro-regulation and relationship breakdown
When life really gets better, people can’t stand to fight endlessly with each other.
When life gets harder, you need side roads:
- the endless renaming of the gender language
- conflicts over whether to say ”girl”, ”boy” or ”fully licensed human persona v2.3”
- campaigns where every clumsy compliment can be turned into a ”trauma”
In essence, it is not about equality, but about turning man and woman, family and friendship, all forms of trust, into a field of doubt and self-censorship. The more you are afraid to speak up, the easier it is to control you.(LLMS Central)
Progress?
No – it is a refactoring of human relations into an administrative risk.
”Progress” in practice: traffic jams, electric caravans and a postcard that arrives late
In Victorian times, a postcard could travel within the same city in a matter of hours. Now that we have:
- automation
- sorting robots
- Intelligent logistics
- and real-time monitoring
the card will arrive in maybe a week.
Maybe.
But you can of course track it in a great app that tells you where the card is not.
The same logic in traffic: the winding country road, where there used to be fewer cars, was replaced by a motorway, where you now stand in three lanes at once. Cars have more sensors than in the Apollo programme, but no one is moving forward.
Electric cars are seen as a ”solution”, although no one really says:
- who tows when the battery runs out – en masse
- where to bury old batteries when they are no longer of any use to anyone
But don’t worry. Progress will take care of it. Later. Maybe.
Final verdict: let’s restore civilisation, thank you
Vernon Coleman sums it up: much of what is sold to us today as progress is just carefully packaged change that makes life slower, worse – and us more manageable.(The Expose – Home)
It’s easy to laugh at the level of satire:
- for email swirls
- for recycling rituals
- woke galleries
- For UBI promises and QR money grabs
But at some point the joke starts to taste too much like a documentary.
Progress is not that:
- you are always more tired
- you always understand less
- and you have less and less say in your own life
Real progress would be:
- less forced regulation, more genuine freedom
- less force-fed propaganda, more honest debate
- fewer imaginary enemies, more concrete responsibility from those who pull the strings
Personally, I am fed up with the current ”progress”.
I would like to turn back the clock a little – not to the romantic past, but to a time when the measure of civilisation was not how many notifications your phone sent per hour.
If this is progress, then maybe it’s time to hit Rollback.
Written within the framework of Publication-X’s own style.
📚 So urces
- They call this progress. Don’t make me laugh – The Exposé / Rhoda Wilson & Dr. Vernon Coleman(The Expose – Home)
- They call this progress. Don’t make me laugh – Vernon Coleman Substack(drvernoncoleman.substack.com)
- Expose-News koonti: ”They call this progress. Don’t make me laugh” and related analysis(LLMS Central)